irritated
Okay, I admit that I feel more edgy than usual... where did I read that this has a lot to do with the release of toxins etc.? I surely hope that this is the reason, because I don't feel "nice" at all right now... yelling quite easily when things don't go the way I feel they should, etc. A lot has to do with pent-up anger, resentments that want to be released or resolved, etc. Well, I managed to express my frustration and turn those felings around today, which is good. But somehow I just miss the possibility of being able to turn to food as a consolation... just potentially... but using my reason I know that this is just nonsense and resolves nothing, so why start that stuff again.
Anyway, I feel that if I want to be serious about this, some of my attitudes and habits need to shift. Which might not be bad at all. Generally speaking, I'm reading a lot on recovery these days... to be exact, have been doing so since last October. It's very enlightening, and once again I saw that there is no one solution for everybody, but that I need to find out what is helpful for me. Find my own truth and not accept anything from anybody because it has worked for her or him. So, OA is just like a lot of other approaches that work in some aspects and don't work in others. Being accountable is a good thing, but in the long run the only thing that counts is being accountable to myself because I can't sever those ties. I could walk away from any virtual or tangible group if I felt it wasn't "my thing" anymore, but I'll always take myself along. So it comes down to doing what I feel is right, and being honest about it.
Am reading an interesting book on recovery, the usual approaches and the error to call an addiction a disease. Also including overeating, for example. Sounds promising... another very different angle that might help me formulate my sometimes queasy feelings about 12 step groups, the powerlessness and the higher power involved.
Well, what did I have yesterday?
Breakfast: 1 Fleischkàse, 1 egg
Lunch: picknick in Basel with Friederike: 150 g parmesan cheese, 1 trout
Dinner: 1 tomato, 3 endives with salmon, cream and butter cheese
And today:
Breakfast (lovingly prepared and served by Anna): 200 g of "Quark" (a kind of cottage cheese), 1 tomato, 1 espresso doppio
lunch: 1 Fleischkäse, 1 egg
dinner: omelett with 2 eggs and 100 g feta cheese, 2 cups of salad with 4 tsp olive oil, 2 tsp lemon juice
3 blackberries from our garden (yum)
The dentist appointment turned out to be next week... what a blunder. Seems I forgto to erase the initial entry after the changings that had been made and neglected to look on next week's page... so I'll see how I best deal with the potential "temptations" of Dutch pie!
Anyway, I feel that if I want to be serious about this, some of my attitudes and habits need to shift. Which might not be bad at all. Generally speaking, I'm reading a lot on recovery these days... to be exact, have been doing so since last October. It's very enlightening, and once again I saw that there is no one solution for everybody, but that I need to find out what is helpful for me. Find my own truth and not accept anything from anybody because it has worked for her or him. So, OA is just like a lot of other approaches that work in some aspects and don't work in others. Being accountable is a good thing, but in the long run the only thing that counts is being accountable to myself because I can't sever those ties. I could walk away from any virtual or tangible group if I felt it wasn't "my thing" anymore, but I'll always take myself along. So it comes down to doing what I feel is right, and being honest about it.
Am reading an interesting book on recovery, the usual approaches and the error to call an addiction a disease. Also including overeating, for example. Sounds promising... another very different angle that might help me formulate my sometimes queasy feelings about 12 step groups, the powerlessness and the higher power involved.
Well, what did I have yesterday?
Breakfast: 1 Fleischkàse, 1 egg
Lunch: picknick in Basel with Friederike: 150 g parmesan cheese, 1 trout
Dinner: 1 tomato, 3 endives with salmon, cream and butter cheese
And today:
Breakfast (lovingly prepared and served by Anna): 200 g of "Quark" (a kind of cottage cheese), 1 tomato, 1 espresso doppio
lunch: 1 Fleischkäse, 1 egg
dinner: omelett with 2 eggs and 100 g feta cheese, 2 cups of salad with 4 tsp olive oil, 2 tsp lemon juice
3 blackberries from our garden (yum)
The dentist appointment turned out to be next week... what a blunder. Seems I forgto to erase the initial entry after the changings that had been made and neglected to look on next week's page... so I'll see how I best deal with the potential "temptations" of Dutch pie!
posted by SophieLoCa at 5:29 AM
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